It’s mid-February and I’m just now getting serious about writing down my resolutions and setting some goals for myself. In the last two years, I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants. Being a mom, wife, daughter, employee and friend is hard. I would love to tell you that I’m great at balancing it all, but that is a lie. Recently, a friend told me that I was the busiest person she knew. Maybe I am? Maybe I’m not? I know there are other women with much more on their plate, but I will admit I often feel overwhelmed at times trying to juggle it all. I am a mother of a two year old, I work full-time and my husband travels regularly for work. When I first started my blog, I thought it was going to be about how well I could balance this working mom life. If you could only see me in the mornings trying to get out the door, you would know that this is not a balancing act…This is survival mode!
If you know me personally, you know I’m more of a “yes” person, a self-proclaimed “people pleaser” and I might also suffer from FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). This character trait is a wonderful one to have at times, but it’s also a trait that people knowingly and unknowingly take advantage of. There becomes a point when you are doing so much that it is hard to do anything well. For example, I recently agreed to help and volunteer at an event. I immediately said yes when asked because I believe in the organization and felt like I would be making a difference. The next day after this event took place, I realized I never made it there. I didn’t show up! It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be there, it was because I just forgot. How could I forget?! After sending apologetic text messages and making a few phone calls I realized that I have to start saying no and not committing to more than I can handle. Thankfully, they gave me some grace and appreciated me reaching out.
There also becomes a time in your life when you start to understand the importance of priorities and boundaries. Some people will not always respect your decisions when it comes to these two things. Not everyone will understand why you make the decisions you do because you are the only one who truly knows what is best for you and/or your family and that’s OK. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. We all get to decide how we spend that time.
This year, my resolution is to focus more on myself and my own goals. Since having my son, I have not been in the best shape and my own health has taken a backseat. I recently joined a gym and found an awesome group of coaches to help me reach my fitness goals. When I expressed my concerns and made excuses about why I’m out of shape, I was told to replace the statement, “I’m busy” with “It’s not a priority.” This hit me hard! How many times do we give up on our own goals, miss out on spending time with friends and family because we are “too busy!” My goal is to take care of myself because I know by doing that I will be a better and happier mom, wife and friend. So next time you find yourself wondering why the “yes” mom keeps saying no, don’t be offended, just show her a little grace and respect her boundaries. And to the momma who finds herself feeling guilty for not saying “yes” again, show yourself a little grace and remind yourself that you are worthy of being the best version of yourself even if it means saying “no” to someone else’s priority.